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The collar and its role in BDSM culture

Fondlove

The collar and its role in BDSM culture

 

A collar, a product without which it is impossible to imagine BDSM culture, is its most striking attribute. The collar symbolizes control and possession, it is a symbol of submission. As a rule, the collar is worn by submissives (a partner who obeys the dominant).

 

Its special uniqueness and originality among other subcultures, the BDSM movement, is primarily because it combines two such diametrically opposite, and at first glance incompatible things, as domination and submission. Or rather, the fact that both participants in such a relationship experience incomparable pleasure and realize the deepest sexual desires. And to realize all this, one should, first of all, take into account the emotional needs and wishes of both partners. And how to do this, if you do not have symbolic items such as a collar, whip, handcuffs, etc., which help to immerse yourself in the role more deeply, to indicate the position of each participant in role-playing games, to fully enjoy the realization of sexual fantasies?

 

Speaking about the image of the upper, it should be noted that its attributes are items for punishment or evidence of strength and superiority. As a rule, this is a whip and its varieties, perhaps a frightening mask, and, of course, accessories that fix the body of the lower one. And what about the bottom? First of all, it's worth noting that many gurus in BDSM culture, state that nothing so indicates the submissive's submissive position, and does not reflect his role in the relationship as a collar. It is he, mystically or psychologically, that makes a person in an instant feel subordinate to the power of another person, and on a subconscious level, to be sincerely ready to fulfil all his requirements. Therefore, the role that the collar plays in BDSM relationships is truly difficult to overestimate, and even more so to ignore.

 

Of course, it is a big mistake that some inexperienced people who are just starting to practice BDSM underestimate the collar, naively believing that the main thing in this matter is violence and submission. In fact, there is no real submission or the possibility of punishment if there is no full immersion in the role. At least until the stage when the game begins to border on reality. Professionals say that you should even follow the whole ritual in which the collar is put on! Because in BDSM, as in real art, there is no place for trifles and every detail is important. As a rule, it is advised to start with the fact that the slave himself hands the collar to the master on his knees, then humbly bows and ask for such mercy, declaring his readiness to obey. Then, the top one must defiantly fulfil his request and check how well he buttoned it. However, it should be noted that the collar should not sit very tightly so that the dominant can hold it in his hand and force the sub to one or another action. But this does not mean that it was conditional or indicative. The lower one should not be able to unauthorizedly remove the collar, since this, in principle, deprives such role-playing games of meaning. If in the subconscious, a person assumes that he can violate the rules of the game, then he is extremely dishonestly fulfilling his role. And to stop the game, in case of good reasons, there are stop words or stop gestures, which should be used. The lower one should not be able to unauthorizedly remove the collar, since this, in principle, deprives such role-playing games of meaning. If in the subconscious, a person assumes that he can violate the rules of the game, then he is extremely dishonestly fulfilling his role. And to stop the game, in case of good reasons, there are stop words or stop gestures, which should be used. The lower one should not be able to unauthorizedly remove the collar, since this, in principle, deprives such role-playing games of meaning. If in the subconscious, a person assumes that he can violate the rules of the game, then he is extremely dishonestly fulfilling his role. And to stop the game, in case of good reasons, there are stop words or stop gestures, which should be used.

 

Therefore, some experienced BDSM adherents argue that the collar must have a lock, the key from which must be exclusively within the reach of the upper one. In addition, the very process of putting it on already instils a feeling of fear in the slave, moreover, at such a primitive level that he himself may not even be aware of it, however, this will help him naturally deeper into the role. Continuing the conversation about the psychological component that the collar carries, it should be noted that it is more often than all other BDSM accessories, it is the subject of a fetish and a symbol of a relationship with a specific dominant. It is so strong and important that there was even a case when the lower partner, has stopped communicating with the upper partner, destroyed the collar, as it symbolized their relationship, which lasted more than one year. and meant not only sex but also love-romantic affection. All this was done by her only because the collar was a defining part of their intimate relationship, and was directly associated with their affection for each other.

 

Also, the collar provides an invaluable service for BDSM games, as an accessory that helps to fix a subordinate, chaining her by the neck to any suitable object, or allows you to hook a leash. The leash scenes deserve special attention. If you listen to the opinion of psychologists, you can hear the following. The collar has long been used to restrain slaves, giving humiliation to their position, or to control animals, including dogs. Therefore, 2 factors play a role here at once - consciousness and subconsciousness. Consciousness draws a parallel with a dog, for which the stereotype of the most devoted and obedient creature, at the same time, completely dependent on the will and desires of its owner, is clearly fixed, and the subconscious gives out a picture obtained from books or films. However, some argue that it may even be present at the genetic level. Therefore, those who believe that collars are just part of a BDSM costume or a symbolic attribute should forget about it once and for all, and understand that without it, role-playing games will not bring as much pleasure and realization as they can and should.

 

But you shouldn't go to extremes either. If you are just taking the first steps in BDSM, then here, as in everything, you need to have a sense of proportion, be guided by common sense and the principle of smooth immersion. This means that the collar, like any other attribute, should be used correctly to fully enjoy the process, to feel the full power of the upper one or the helplessness of the lower one, as well as not to lose the desire to continue your experiments. To do this, you should always keep in mind the following:

 

  • the collar should sit tightly, but at the same time, without exerting a suffocating effect, and gave the master the opportunity to grab onto it;
  • for safety reasons, you should choose a collar, taking into account the physiological characteristics of the lower one. This means that the sensitivity of the skin, the pain threshold, and the absence of allergies to specific materials must be taken into account. After BDSM games, all their practitioners return to real life, and it is unlikely that anyone will like to have abrasions or traces of suffocation after them;
  • if it is envisaged that the collar will be fastened with a leash to any object, it is necessary to predict in advance the likelihood that during the punishment, the submissive may make involuntary movements that can lead to suffocation.

 

Using a collar, and these simple recommendations, you can fully appreciate its value in BDSM relationships, understand that without it, games would not be so realistic and interesting, and, of course, have more than one such accessory. In addition, if you are not yet so ready for such, in your opinion, "radical steps", we recommend the dominant to give your soul mate a gift in the form of a choker, immediately stipulating that this is not just a decoration, but a symbol of your power. Such, at first glance, a decorative accessory, you can even wear it on the street. Having it around his neck, the submissive will think all day about what it is, what it is for, and who wore it. Accordingly, this will help you to get used to the role even better and more organically, and to want to anxiously ask the "owner" for a more generous and impressive gift!

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