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BDSM: definitions and how it works.

Fondlove

BDSM: definitions and how it works.

 

Perhaps there is no other topic related to sex or intimate life as the topic of BDSM, does not arouse so much interest and is not shrouded in such a dense halo of mystery. She, as befits a real "star", is always in the centre of scandals, misinterpretations and rumours, and, as a rule, often spread by people who have no idea what BDSM is and what they "eat" with, and base their opinions only on hackneyed stereotypes or banal inventions. However, all this plays into the hands of this subculture, which is finding more and more fans or simply those who want to try this "forbidden", but even sweeter fruit. Therefore, we will try to talk about BDSM as objectively and impartially as possible, so that everyone can decide for themselves - is it worth it to diversify sex, and if "YES", then how to do it correctly.

 

First, first of all, it is worth understanding how and why this direction arose, as well as what is the reason for such an ambiguous attitude towards it. After all, opinions about BDSM at different times, and especially between representatives of medicine, clergy, "morality" and practitioners of it, sometimes reached a climax in their polarity and radicalism. Even quite recently, several decades ago, BDSM was considered a mental disorder, or rather a disease, but fortunately, now there are many refutations based on research and a deeper and more reasonable study of the issue. And people who practice it are recognized as happier, more satisfied with life and stress-resistant.

 

But we will try not to bore anyone with dry numbers or psychological terms, but turn to history, facts, and common sense. For example, now, oral sex is practically a “light” version of intimate relationships, you won’t surprise anyone for a long time, and perhaps 99.9% of people practice it. Moreover, many young people start their sex life with him, not counting that they have lost their virginity by engaging in it. However, in ancient Greece, at the time of the great philosophers and orators, oral sex was considered something scary and unacceptable, in comparison with which, even the most negative modern attitude towards BDSM fades against this background, and is more like childish babble. And the whole reason is that then, the ability to speak beautifully (which, of course, was associated with the mouth), was considered a gift of the Gods and the most valuable property of man. And the contact of the mouth with the genitals was considered humiliation and an indelible shame, which, of course, could even affect the success of a person's life in society. And to forever make a partner completely dependent on himself, not only in sex but also in life, it was enough to persuade him to this type of intimate relationship. Hence, two conclusions suggest themselves:

  • a) Everything is relative
  • b) Fanaticism, always interfered with an objective understanding of things and attitude towards them

 

Of course, this could already be called the inception of BDSM relationships, but this would be an even greater mistake, since they, first of all, imply the voluntary desire of both partners and, most importantly, the complete absence of any harm to health or psyche. Yes, yes, that is why those who did not fall for prejudices and opinions of amateurs found so much interesting, exciting and enjoyable in BDSM games that even if they do not practice it regularly, they will periodically indulge themselves with such a gorgeous sexy "dessert". In fact, such relationships have always existed, just in different forms, and like everything in this world, they have constantly evolved, turning into a whole culture and an endless layer of opportunities for sexual pleasure. And it would be fair to assume that it is role-playing games,

 

As Shakespeare said - "all life is a game, and people are actors in it." In fact, this expression is more than fair and will be relevant as long as the world exists. After all, each of us every day plays one or another role - husband, wife, boss, parent, someone's child, etc. And all this imposes certain responsibilities, creates a model of behaviour, makes you follow the rules, establishes a connection with society, and, of course, tires. And what else, like sex, allows you to forget about everything, completely surrender to pleasure, and most importantly, it allows you to get out of the dominance of stereotypes and experience previously unexplored and incomparable sensations. All this undoubtedly includes the direction of BDSM, which, like no other sexual practices, is capable of incredibly diversifying intimate life,

 

Therefore, you should definitely learn more about BDSM, find that facet in it that suits you, and, together with your partner, plunge into this mysterious, but filled with fabulous pleasures world.

 

First of all, it is worth knowing that BDSM is an abbreviation and implies three main techniques or directions:

 

  • Restricted mobility
  • Domination and submission
  • Physical punishment or moral "humiliation"

 

Restricted mobility

 

This can be either complete fixation of the body or partial fixation of arms, legs or head. Many BDSM lovers cannot imagine their games without it, because bondage gives a sense of power to a dominant and a feeling of helplessness to a symbiosis. To do this, you can use the means at hand - a belt, a sheet, or a thick rope, for example. However, you should pay attention to the abundance of such accessories that the sex shop offers! In it, you can choose everything you need for BDSM games and fixation in particular. These are all kinds of bandages, spacers, braces, collars, special ropes, tapes, etc. And to have sex in handcuffs with fur or leather, which is much more pleasant than in iron of unknown origin.

 

Also, when choosing such accessories, you should consult with your partner about how you will use them, and what emotions you want to experience. If you are just starting to "enter" BDSM and do not dare to do anything more, then for the first time simple handcuffs (for legs or arms) will be enough. And if fantasy is in full swing, and you like to enjoy to the maximum, bondage, where handcuffs and a collar are connected by a chain, or, for example, latches with which you can chain a slave to the door, would be the ideal choice.

 

Another important aspect of BDSM, which is enjoyable for both, is limiting the senses. For example, a mask over the eyes does not allow the lower one to see what the dominant is going to do to him at one time or another. Such an intriguing situation makes fantasy work with renewed vigour, adds the effect of exciting surprise, and most importantly, sharpens other feelings, which makes sex more vivid and sensual.

 

And, of course, you shouldn't forget about BDSM gags. After all, it is so pleasant when the slave cannot say a word, but publishes only groans and cannot object to the master during the punishment. Here, again, you should focus on your desires and preferences, and if this is your first toy, then you can purchase a ball or ring gag, and if you have been continuing to improve in BDSM for some time and realized that you love harder, then the best choice there may be hook-like mouth spacers or phallus gag.

 

Domination and submission

 

This includes role-playing games and everything related to them, and besides, this is one of the most exciting activities in the world of BDSM. After all, almost every person has fantasies about sex that, for one reason or another, he could not realize. And here, a whole field of possibilities opens up.

 

For example, many powerful men in a position in society want to be in the full power of a woman and experience the role of a helpless subordinate, and some girls dream of being "on top" and letting a man understand what it is like for her. In BDSM, all this can be done simply by defining the roles, but it is much better and more interesting if you add entourage and get an erotic costume. For example, a woman in a suit of a sexy policewoman in the BDSM style will look much more exciting and stricter, and a naive "maid" with an ever-lifting skirt will give her master much more pleased with such realism.

 

And most importantly, when practising BDSM, do not forget to switch roles from time to time. This will allow you to get to know yourself and your partner better, enjoy the diversity, and most importantly, will give rise to more and more new fantasies.

 

Physical punishment or moral humiliation, in other words - sadomasochism

 

This aspect is perhaps the most important and significant in BDSM culture, thanks to which such an ambiguous attitude arose towards it, but it is he who adds the peppercorns, without which many simply cannot imagine sex. It can be both verbal abuse and physical humiliation or infliction of pain, of which there are a lot in BDSM. Someone may be satisfied with lashes on the body, but for someone, it is a pleasure to spank the genitals, face, or, for example, clamps on sensitive nipples. Often in BDSM, a "golden shower" (urination) is practised, where both partners, depending on their roles, can try themselves both in the role of giving and receiving, enemas, or spitting in the mouth.

 

For a particularly sharp tactile sensation, wax or ice is used. A sharp temperature drop instantly sharpens sensation, causes a rush of blood to the skin, which makes it more sensitive. In general, in such a relationship, BDSM is welcomed and anything that can please both partners is allowed.

 

However, you should be aware that this does not in any way imply that you try everything at once, or they are all inseparable from each other. In fact, this is perhaps the most common misconception among newcomers to BDSM who are addicted to external factors and, in particular, entourage. Of course, if you and your partner want, and most importantly, are ready, to include all kinds of BDSM accessories in your sexual games, experience all the delights of role-playing relationships, and also enjoy intense physical stimuli, this undoubtedly deserves respect. But if some of the above are not acceptable to you, or there was an unpleasant experience, this does not mean that BDSM is not yours, and you will not be able to enjoy it. In fact, as each of the practices separately, and all together, are in no way inferior to each other, and everything depends only on your desire, the ability to find something of their own, and above all, to feel themselves and a partner. After all, nothing requires such attention to a partner, to his feelings, desires, feelings, as the practice of BDSM. That is why such sex helps to open up, to trust, to make relationships even stronger and more reliable, and to fill intimate life with new colours and emotions.

 

And most importantly, always remember the three golden rules of BDSM.

 

1. Security. It should not be forgotten that BDSM is, first of all, a sexual game, which must be played, and not "flirted", then it will bring only pleasure, pleasant realizations and warm memories. Therefore, the safety of a partner, or rather attention to him, control of the situation and the absence of fanaticism should always be a priority. For example, the sensual and tantalizing spanking of flogger's threads can not only create pleasant sensations but also incredibly aroused. But excessively strong, uncontrollable lashes can cause not only opposite realizations but also harm health, which is categorically unacceptable. So, if you are just starting to get into the topic of BDSM, it will not be superfluous to find out the pain threshold of your partner, to experience this or that intimate accessory in a relaxed atmosphere,

 

Also, during binding, if this takes place, you need to understand that it is primarily intended to immobilize the partner and make sure that the limbs and blood vessels are not strongly pinched. Of course, some people tend to get pleasure from quite tangible pain, but again, this is everyone's business, however, health should come first. BDSM is a sexual practice for physical and emotional pleasure and nothing else.

 

2. Stop words. Even experienced BDSM adherents, who have had more than one year of similar practices behind them, always use a stop word or gesture. And beginners, all the more, should not neglect this. The fact is that role-playing games, for this and role-playing, that it is not always possible to understand whether the passive receives pleasure, begging the mistress for forgiveness and the end of punishment, or indeed, the line was crossed and the partner is experiencing physical pain that has nothing to do with pleasure ... Also, when a partner is tied, and he has a gag in his mouth, it will be impossible to find out if everything is in order at the moment, in which case, and before starting BDSM games, it will be correct to choose any stop gesture with which he can symbolize the desire to interrupt for a while, or stop fun.

 

3. Communication. And the most important thing. BDSM relationships will not be complete or as enjoyable as they can if you are afraid to be completely honest with your partner, be shy, “pinched”, or not share your realizations. What happens in the bedroom between the two remains forever between them, and even more so, if you have decided to take the next step in your sexual experiments, you should not look back. BDSM practice just exists so that every person can realize their most secret, and sometimes seemingly "indecent" desires that cannot be realized in ordinary life. As they say - everything that is natural is not ugly, so do not limit yourself and let both of you enjoy to the maximum! And be sure, after each sex in the BDSM style, have a heart-to-heart talk with your soul mate, find out what you liked,

Of course, to try yourself in BDSM or not depends solely on you and your partner, but as wise people say, “it's better to try and regret than not to try and regret it all your life.” Well, as the most weighty argument, we can cite the fact that millions of people around the world have found themselves in BDSM, discovered completely new and high-quality sex realized those desires that helped them become free and happy people in all respects.

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