11 emotional stages of buying a sex toy in a sex shop


The truth is, sex toys are fun. Probably everyone remembers how he or she giggled the first time they saw a vibrator or dildo. At the same time, for sure, every girl fantasized about such a “love date” with a sex toy. About what pleasure it (the toy) can bring.


And so, you finally gathered all your erotic fantasies into a bunch and clearly told yourself that you are going to purchase the coveted dildo, vibrator or butt plug come true. Is it so easy to decide on this these days? Yes, undoubtedly, the popularity of sex toys is constantly growing and has increased significantly over the past ten years. People are increasingly visiting sex shops. But still, there are certain stages through which the future owner of a vibrator or any other sex toy passes. We distinguish 11 emotional stages on the path to purchase:


1. Excitement


Sex toys! Yes, great! Let's do that!


2. Planning


Excellent! I found what I needed in the online store. I compared the prices. You are mine!


(Tip: If your future sex toy will need to be recharged from the mains, make sure that you can easily do it in your bedroom or any other convenient place, and at the same time it will not interfere with you, say, in the kitchen)


3. Anxiety


And what will the sex shop in which I am going to buy this sex toy look like? How many people will there be? Who will be the cashier - man or woman? What if someone sees me entering a sex shop?


4. Confusion


This makes no sense. Why should I care that some kind of clitoral stimulant is 100% biodegradable and safe for all skin types? Some kind of rubber mouth, hundreds of phalluses. It looks somehow scary.


5. Ambivalence


Why is this salesperson beating around the bush and looking like he wants to answer a question of mine? I think that somewhere on his body he has a tattoo with the words "I know more about sex and much better than you." I'll pretend I'm reviewing this water-based lubricant. Just don't look him in the eye. Don't look into your eyes!


6. Shame


NO, I DO NOT NEED YOUR HELP, THANKS! Although information about sex products would be useful now. But not in front of the rest of the buyers of the sex shop. And why are there so many? I just wanted to ask what is the price of this vibrator, not its diameter or characteristics. Why should we do this in the middle of the store and not in a whisper? I understand that I speak unnaturally as if I am playing a role in a drama.


7. Solution


To hell! I'm here to buy a sex toy just like everyone else. Nobody just comes in here. You know what? I want to know everything about this vibrator: its diameter, length and material. I also want to know how a prostate massager works and what you need to know about anal sex. And in general, people, keep your underage children locked up - a sex monster on the loose. And he's hungry (for sex)!


8. Shame again


Ok, like I chose what I wanted. "Will you take this one?" "Yes." "Anything else?" "Not." It feels like I'm in a fancy restaurant and just ordered some wrong wine. And there must be something else? This vibrator costs almost UAH 980. This is no longer a toy, but a whole installation. What more do you want from me? I wonder if this seller will then imagine how I will play with my new vibrator when I get home? Wait, will the sellers talk about me when I'm gone?


9. Reasonableness


I bought this damn toy! I did it! Now I'll bring it home and turn it on! I chose that one, single, pink, vibrating beauty! Start the engine!


10. Fear


Stop! Why did they put the vibrator in a bag labelled “Inside 20 cm of happiness”? Why couldn't the store put the product in a regular opaque bag? Or in a package with the words “Thank you” in 10 languages? What if I run into a friend who starts looking at what's in the bag? How long will I be standing here at the door to finally blend in with the crowd on the street?


11. Glee/disappointment


Huh. Nobody came to me on the street and asked what I bought there. Just a little bit left and I/we will enjoy the purchase. I am a beauty! What? Batteries are not included with the vibrator?